the four right chords can make me cry

They nailed it.

Jerry and Mary White. Friends and Friendship.

The diagnosis.
Shyness has two basic manifestations. Some people steer away from social contact with others, even on a friendly basis, They're comfortable with only a few limited relationships, and their shyness prevents a wide range of acquaintances and friends.
The other side of shyness is a refusal to let other people into one's life - a basic fear of letting anyone view the inner self. This is different than a natural confident reserve. The shy person experiences anxiety at the thought of allowing others to see him as he really is, fearing he does not have enoughto offer.
Both aspects of shyness - avoiding social contacts and fearing self-relevation - seclude the shy person from meaningful friendships. The expression painfully shy is no mere figure of speech.
Shyness produces loneliness which hurts, and it aggravates doubts about self-worth, which causes (all too familiar) acute anxiety.
Thousands upon thousands of people live isolated, lonely lives because they feel no one could possibly be ineterested in a friendship with them. Afer all, they think, what do they have to offer? They possess no special talents, exhibit no glamorous personality characteristics, and have nothing exceptional or beautiful about their appearance. Why would anyone even notice them, much less seek out a friendship? yeah... why?
Our high schools, colleges, neighborhoods, and churches overflow with far too many of these sad, solitary people. Their lack of confidence may be the result of critical, negative parents, personal rejection by friends or colleagues, negative thinking patterns, or unfair comparisons with others. guilty as charged. Whatever the cause, a poor self-image impedes friendships and isolates a person behind a wall of pain and dejection.

The prescription.
When we recognise that God has created each of us as a unique person, that we do have God-given characteristics to offer as a friend, we can begin to break the shell of loneliness. Each of us has something to contribute to the life of another.
Those who desire to overcome their shyness and build new friendships need to establish a new outlook on themselves and other people. This process will require determination, time, and energy. It would be very helpful for the shy person to recruit a sympathetic friend to help him through the process - perhaps a close family member or a trusted church acquaintance.
Scripture provides us with two major antidotes to shyness:
1. God has lovingly created every person with valuable qualities - that includes you! If others fail to see your good qualities, don't let that persuade you that you don't have any. "So God created man in his own image... God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (Genesis 1:27, 31). "I will be glad and rejoice in your love" (Psalm 31:7).
2. We have a responsibility before God to extend our lives to others. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10).
Don't let shyness keep you from reaching the fulfilment God intends for you in sharing your life with others.
Ok, I'll try.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:17 PM